I had always imagined my children’s births would be beautiful, amazing experiences that I would never forget. Well, with my firstborn, that last part was certainly true. The beautiful and amazing part? Not so much. “Traumatic” is really the only way to describe it.
To make a very long story short, I was induced at 41 weeks and after 30+ hours of very slow labor with little progress, I had to have a C-section. I can honestly say I had never been more exhausted in my life. By the time my baby boy was born, I was barely conscious and so full of drugs and fatigue that all I can remember was telling my husband he needed to hold our son because I was afraid of dropping him. On top of that, I was so worn out and dizzy that I thought I’d forget to breathe if I fell asleep. My baby almost became an afterthought in my full plunge into survival mode.
I don’t blame anyone for that experience. I had a great medical team of nurses and doctors who attended to my every need and made sure my baby and I were okay. But I’ve often regretted not being more prepared personally for such a big event in my life. I just had no idea what I was getting into. Maybe if I’d understood my options better, I could’ve advocated for myself more and it would have been less traumatic?
When all is said and done, I’m just grateful our son got here safely. There are so many variables in giving birth and things don’t always go the way you expect. Having a healthy baby feels like a huge blessing at the end of it. But a healthy mom matters, too — and that’s something I wish I would have understood sooner.
My advice? Seek out resources (like Wild Womb) that will help prepare and empower you for whatever lies ahead. I wish I’d had access to this years ago!
